Monday, December 13, 2010

mighty damn cold

At 11am is it 29 degrees and the wind is blowing around 18mph. Going to sleep at 10:15p means 8 hours later is it 6:15a and I am wake awake. Walk puppies in 18 degrees and windy. Bundled up to my eyes. Puppies don't even notice the cold. A hardy breed. I tease them all the time that dogs are far more adapted to the elements while I don sweaters, coat,  hat, scarf and gloves. Yes, I don't like to be cold. Out the door by 9a to drop off a prescription, bank machine, the bank for my brother, grocery store, and post office. Bread maker started (3 hours until lunch. Chili to be started around 1:15p. Hope the bread works out, I have not used the bread maker in a while. This all part of my acceptance of my new life. I believe in action as part of changing thoughts and emotions. I'm going to start the antidepressant tonight. The Prozac only lasted a week due to loss of erections. Not that I have any real need, I like being able to have them anyway, you know, just in case. I'll start the new one slowly as I have been highly troubled by side-effects from nearly every drug I have had to take for the past two years. So, the dosage will be low to start. I don't feel depressed and I don't really act depressed and for the most part my thoughts are good, but I'll try it and see. If this one doesn't work, I'll let this idea go. Oddly the St.John's Wort didn't seem to have any effect and it has worked for me in the past. I am keeping an open mind.

I am happy and contented with my life. Not that my life is all that great and wonderful, but I am working on contentment. I have shelter. I have food. I have interests to occupy my mind. I am not in pain (most of the time). I have friends. I have music. I have the companionship of my dogs. I am poor but not broke. I have the gratitude of being alive. That is enough.

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