Friday, September 10, 2010

just catching up

I think (and I'm rarely wrong) that I have another kidney stone. Seems that it is starting lower than the last one but unfortunately location doesn't predict when it will come out. I certainly hope it is soon. Last one (July) took about 8 days and I wasn't sure whether or not it was at first, the discomfort was different than the usual early signs. A physician determined it was just from my description, I wasn't sure, and he was correct. It popped out 6 days later. That was number 13 since my first one, in 2001.

I trapped a second mouse this week and set a third trap last night. This morning the peanut butter was gone but the trap was still set. I'll set two tonight.

Try as I might to control this feeling, I'm lonely. I have been in one romantic relationship or another for about 32 of the past 35 years. The longest period without one was 2006-8 after Harriet left. Other than that I have not "flown solo" for more than a few months at a time. I know I need to learn to just be alone without feeling lonely. I think it is exacerbated by a lack of a close friendship. Exporing my feelings now, it is not so much the romantic type of relationship I am missing, just the closeness with another person, a best friend.

MySpace and Facebook afford us all, friendships can transend geography, but we lose the closeness.

Ouch, discomfort is being replaced by pain.

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