a few comics from the New Yorker

Yea, I'm in a pretty mood today.

Sunday morning

Why did the morning news cover a story on the price of beef rising but show video of Jersey cows (which are milk cows)?

I haven't blogged for several days. Guess I haven't had much to say. Started radiation on Wednesday, so 3 down, 22 to go. Any side effects won't be as bad as chemo or surgery, and I'll endure. Having to pretty much sit still for the past six months has taken its toll on my body. I am walking to gain strength and get my muscles moving. Sadly I cannot walk too far, although the puppies drag me around the block twice a day. 

I watched "Too Big to Fail" and "Green Zone" the other day and got mad at the Bush administration all over again. Why haven't we hung that son-of-a-bitch yet?

My personality is continuing to change. Not through any plan, intention or design. I suppose I am adjusting to my new life. I have never had so much free time since I was in high school and college, or so little available cash. My interest in playing music matches the time when I was first learning to play. Seems like I am picking up the interests I had back then. I play nearly every day. I add and remove songs from my play list. I hope to play so open mic sessions soon. The local coffee shop, Summit, will be starting their open mic evening soon.

I have added two Warren Zevon songs, " Werewolves of London" and "Lawyers, Guns and Money," Blues Traveler's, "The Mountain Wins Again," and Allison Krause's "Oh Atlanta," Other new one's are by Oasis, Gordon Lightfoot, and James Taylor. I am finding that I am able to think, memorize and generally learn much more quickly than since the brain cancer and subsequent whole brain radiation treatment. That alone is a miracle! I'm playing between 45 minutes and two hours every day. I am finding that some songs better fit different guitars. I want to have a large repertoire available to play what seems right at the time. I may even try to find a partner although earlier attempts have proven unsuccessful. Maybe playing out will inspire someone else. I need a tenor. Would love to find a female vocalist. Once the weather warms maybe I'll just take a guitar downtown and play. Maybe sooner.

Still loving the Hummingbird. I think I need a new saddle but I'm going to continue to get to know her before making any changes. It is only 8:30am (Sunday morning) but all this writing about playing makes me want to play, so I'm off.

miracle

I'm at the Radiation Oncologist's yesterday setting up my radiation treatment plan (starts tomorrow for 25 sessions).  First the nurse takes my history since I was last there (Sept. 2008). Then the Doctor comes in to discuss the treatment plan. While he is there he is asking all kinds of questions about the results of the earlier radiation treatments. I consulted him once about the memory and fatigue issues that resulted afterwards. I was able to explain that through a tremendous amount of work, that I had regained much of my earlier mental abilities. Afterwards he remarked that the cases like mine give oncologists hope and the feeling that they are actually doing something (I guess most people die even with treatment). He even used my case as an example of success to encourage another patient earlier in the day. The Doctor was quite emotional while he said this and the pain of being in a area of medicine without a lot of successes was very apparent. He also stated that they wouldn't be recommending radiation without the amazing results I am experiencing. My docs really believe I can be cured.

This conversation reminded me once again, of the miracle that I am still alive. 

Of course I still have to do the laundry, shopping, walk the dogs in the rain.

post #250

Good morning gentle readers,


This is my 250th post since moving my blog here. I have about 3 years worth of entries on MySpace. I guess I've been blogging since 9-30-2005. (myspace blog)


Rainy Monday morning here. Puppies sleeping hard. Next, guitar playing. Working "The Mountain Wins Again" into a single acoustic version. Adding a few interesting songs to my collection. "Oh Atlanta," "Closing Time,"  "Big River Blues," "Champagne Supernova," and ever closer to memorizing "Carolina In My Mind."


I have an appointment with a radiation oncologist this afternoon. I'll go in everyday for 20-25 times as a precaution against any further cancer. Hope the side-effects aren't too unpleasant. Awfully tired of side-effects.


PGroove is playing at the new Ziggy's on Saturday. I hope to make it to the show. Been a while since I've gotten to hear any live music.

clean screen

Home from the Oncologist's office. No cancer found. Radiation starts in two week. Getting some exercise every afternoon. Feeling a bit better and a bit relieved. 

playing solo

The art of arranging most songs for the single acoustic and vocal can be quite daunting. There are rhythms from the various instruments that have to be incorporated as this might be an integral and recognizable feature of the song. So the right hand is in charge of the rhythm. The left must form the basic chord structure, although the multiple instruments may have been used to produce the original. A picking style added a few notes to the chords can fill the space between them and incorporate the melody line in to the songs. It is my opinion (well I guess it all is) that the song needs to be reasonably close to the original. At the same time, one must make the song their own. No point in just copying somebody's song.

Singing can also be difficult. I'm basically a baritone but so many singers are tenors and songs range pretty high on the scale. I occasionally have to use a lower harmonic line to avoid screeching like a wounded owl. In my opinion, the songs we choose and the way we arrange the song is what we can bring to the music.

good morning and Hummingbird

Good morning friends and visitors.

Early morning movie is Brainstorm (1983) with Christopher Walken and Natalie Wood (her last movie). The movie explores the idea that memories can be recorded and played back. Filmed in North Carolina this is one of my favorite movies.

The Gibson Hummingbird. Been playing it everyday. Lovely Gibson neck, a bit more narrow than the J-200, but just the way I like them. Wide enough for finger style but narrow enough for strumming. Loud and deep, but unlike the J-200, the upper register is more pronounced. More even across the range than any of my guitars, and with the characteristic dip for the vocals. I A/B'ed against the Santa Cruz yesterday. Similar but different, brighter. Love the coloring (burst) and of course, the pick guard.

Off to have breakfast at Toast, then a CT at Presby Huntersville. I don't see how they'll find anything, but off we go to spend more money on staying alive.

Feeling better everyday but the fatigue is awful. So miss being active and social. Skye had another seizure yesterday and seems to come through ok. Yea Skye.

HBird

Getting to know the new girl. Cannot find a flaw on the instrument. I think the universe is making right for all the last 6 months of surgery and chemo. I first played a H'Bird when I was 15 (1972) and never forgot that sound. Been waiting for this girl for 39 years. How's that for patience?

Got this email today. Sweet.

• •  "I would love to see you! I was just was looking at some of the old pics you took once upon a time. it is so nice to look at those pictures and see how happy I am (as well as everyone else there). You and you alone have captured so many of my favorite moments in my life. I want to thank you for that. It really means a lot to me".

New Guitar Day

I bought a 2009 Gibson Hummingbird acoustic today. I have been looking for another Gibson for a while now, checking Craigslist here and in this part of the state. Yesterday this one appears and the seller is only 5 miles away. It took me three years to sell the piano and within two weeks, the 'Bird shows up. I'd been joking that there was a guitar hidden in that piano. Well, there was and here it is.


I was considering other Gibson models, the Dove and the Songwriter. But what I wanted most was the HB.


The Humming bird is a an icon in the acoustic guitar world. When I was a budding guitar player, I had a chance to play one of these and have wanted one ever since. This was in 1974. I never forgot that tone.


While it is used, I expect she'll sound even better after she's been played up over the next few years.

emotion and logic

I'm in the shower, which takes less time as I have no hair to wash and where I do my best thinking, and a new thought comes to mind. Being human, the pull between following emotion or reason is the bane of our existence. Following either to the exclusion of the other, makes life boring or chaotic. Finding a balance is the art to living an full and interesting life.

A little over two years ago my girlfriend broke it off with me and starting seeing my best friend. Emotion led the charge and I was unhappy for a long time. Working through both emotional and reasoned arguments, I was able to slowly move from more emotional thinking and towards logical thoughts. Eventually I was able to forgive them both.


Back to the shower. I discover a new thought. My friend actually did my a favor by relieving me of a woman who was heading for an emotional breakdown. I don't have much interest in drama these days and had things not changed, there would have been lots. I was able to help her through a transition or two, but could not have prevented her from making the choices she has since she left.


I feel badly from my friend who willingly jumped into that mess and is still there, tied emotionally to her craziness, suffering as a result. I guess the art comes in following both a reasoned life and the joy of the chaos. Like a Phish jam, there are rules in music but the variety and spontaneity make it enjoyable.


Like when Kenny Rogers sang, "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em".

sliding into 2012

I knew I didn't want to suffer the chemo during Christmas so I changed the time until between Christmas and New Years. So the first days of the new year have been difficult. Each chemo treatment has been difficult, this time even my fingernails hurt. But that is almost behind me. I start the 20-25 radiation treatments in a month. My next CT scan is in 10 days. Guess I'll find out if the last 5 months of surgery and chemo have helped. The multiple surgeries and the whole brain radiation really took a toll on my health and my brain, which I am still getting over. I didn't really expect to get so much of my facilities back but I put in the effort of retraining my brain anyway. I'm less than I was but more than I could have ever hoped.

I must admit that the first incident I only focused on getting rid of the cancer. This time, I have begun to factoring in the odds of a third cancer. Will I have the strength to go through all this again? Shall I have the will to go through treatment again? I have been mostly housebound for 3 1/2 years. Is treatment going to my primary activity for the rest of my life? When do I call it quits. Is suffering without hope, in fact, life?

Being optimistic, my plan is to get a clean bill of health and complete the radiation. Then get back on the treadmill (euphemistically and actually) and get some physical exercise and do what I can to recover.

Happy New Year 2012

Happy New Year!!!