sliding into 2012

I knew I didn't want to suffer the chemo during Christmas so I changed the time until between Christmas and New Years. So the first days of the new year have been difficult. Each chemo treatment has been difficult, this time even my fingernails hurt. But that is almost behind me. I start the 20-25 radiation treatments in a month. My next CT scan is in 10 days. Guess I'll find out if the last 5 months of surgery and chemo have helped. The multiple surgeries and the whole brain radiation really took a toll on my health and my brain, which I am still getting over. I didn't really expect to get so much of my facilities back but I put in the effort of retraining my brain anyway. I'm less than I was but more than I could have ever hoped.

I must admit that the first incident I only focused on getting rid of the cancer. This time, I have begun to factoring in the odds of a third cancer. Will I have the strength to go through all this again? Shall I have the will to go through treatment again? I have been mostly housebound for 3 1/2 years. Is treatment going to my primary activity for the rest of my life? When do I call it quits. Is suffering without hope, in fact, life?

Being optimistic, my plan is to get a clean bill of health and complete the radiation. Then get back on the treadmill (euphemistically and actually) and get some physical exercise and do what I can to recover.

Happy New Year 2012

Happy New Year!!!

New Years Eve

Two days into the final chemo. It's been worse and I'm hoping to get over it quickly. A lovely morning here in Davidson, 55 degrees at 10:30, sunny blue skies. Maybe puppies will get a long outdoor playtime.

Think I'd better get a guitar in my hands before the next wave of unpleasantness hits.

Seems that everyone is ready to kiss 2011 goodbye and start 2012 with a renewed sense of optimism.

One of the most amazing things about us humans is our ability to see a brighter future than our present.   

home from chemo and ...joke

Home from 7 hours of chemo. Sick almost immediately. Last one scheduled to cure this cancer.

Watch the UNC-Elon game.

Humor ahead:

chemo tomorrow (last one)

Hi Friends,

Chemo tomorrow, so I'll spend the day getting things ready. It is easier if I don't have things I have to do for the next few days. My brother and his girlfriend will be helping out through the weekend.

Enjoying watching the Republican candidates race to the extreme right heading into the first state primaries. Personhood, my ass.

Christmas Eve Day

Christmas tomorrow. Going to my step-mother's for a late lunch. I'll pick up a couple of new sweaters and hand out gift cards. I guess without kids, the holiday is none too exciting.

Still finding it hard to walk very far. Next chemo in 5 days. The last one. Hit a fatigue spell the last couple of days. Laying in provisions for the days after chemo.

The daylight hours are few now. I'm out with the dogs each morning before the sun rises.

Watched Woody Allen's, "Midnight in Paris" today. Recommend.

Actually went to the theater to see the American remake of "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" yesterday. Recommend, although the original Swedish version is better.





Restrung the Martin and much improvement. Some guitars can tolerate dying strings better than others. Also restring my 1986 Yairi, the guitar I bought to take to grad school in Athens. Even after buying 6 more great guitars (Gibson, Santa Cruz, Martin, Yamaha, Yairi) I can report that my choice in 1987 was spot on. I've always had a good ear for tone.



Think I'll go play it now.

rainy day

I just haven't been feeling all that philosophical lately. I feel like I am "circling the wagons" in my mind and in my life. Making sure I'm attending to the simple things; the house, the bills, the puppies, and my health. Once all these treatments are done, I hope to get in better physical shape, walking and working out. Sort of a physical rehabilitation.

The new antenna is working well. Now waiting for the solar conditions to create better reception. I need to take it down to make a simple adjustment. Just need to borrow a ladder.

Off to see the remake of the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" this afternoon. UNC basketball tonight.