13 out of 28

13 Days in one doctor's or another's offices during August. 

Went to see my massage therapist on Tuesday. Wednesday is felt great. Today I'm so sore I thought I was dying.

After Katie chewed through her first harness, I bought her two new one's. The smaller one fits well and she doesn't complain. Be trying the leash next.

Not much other news. Need to re-foam the sofa cushions. 

amazing when you think about it

I first moved up my scans a couple of weeks and on Aug. 7 had the MRI  that shows a few mets. 16 days later I've completed treatment. Go medicine.

I was thinking last night that if the cancer continues to return to my brain then at some point I'll have to agree to another course of whole brain radiation. Likely that would push my brain into dementia. Then, without memories, it will erase my personality. I suspect that dementia patients do not form personalities,  new or otherwise. Therefore, the WBR would push me faster and into a death of personality. Since our culture refuses to allow actual mercy deaths, perhaps a psychological death could precede the physical death.

Yea, even retired folks still have Mondays.

round 2

Home from the second round of STS radiation. Two more tumors bite the dust. Glad for that but cancer treatment is still a bitch. So tired. No way I'll make it to Phish on Sunday.

Hoping for a break in the find cancer kill cancer routine I have going on here. I'd like a year off please.

more mets

Survived the SRS treatment this morning. A whole hour of holding absolutely still. The mask also blocks all vision. But in viewing the latest MRI, they found two more mets and I'll be back under the radiation gun on Friday. A little dizziness seems to be the worse of it. Still, I know it is giving me more time and all that but boy am I sick of all these treatments.

chilling before tomorrow

Brain cancer radiation tomorrow. Not so much fear but dread. I hate these procedures. 4 surgeries, 4 chemo, 33 radiation treatments so far.

I just ache all time. But lungs in best shape since the surgery. Walking up to two miles a day. Just going to learn to ignore the discomfort. Guitar playing going well.

Katie is growing fast. Leash training again this afternoon.

New smartphone is so cool. I can play movies right off my Netflix cue.

still waiting

I finally leave the house to have dinner with my step-mother and her sister yesterday. About 6:20 I ask my neighbor to watch out for the truck. Between my leaving and his getting here, UPS appears (6:22p). So, waiting again today.

Had yet another MRI at CMC this morning. Man I hate driving in Charlotte. I got so lost.

Saw a 1995 Gibson J-100 12 string for $900 on Craigslist. I almost called.

I like it here with my puppies. So I go to treatment.

waitin' for the man

Waiting alright. Waiting for that brown van and the magic package he'll be bringing. Nothing like the excitement of a new smart phone. It's out for delivery. But, we all know that waiting. Can you walk the dog, will they come? Shower? Leave the house at all? Panic sets in.  Hours ahead and miles to go. Waiting.

Waiting.



still waiting.




s t i l l  w  a  i    t     i         n             gggggggggggggg

the plan

Get my radiation mask and interview with Dr. Asher tomorrow.

MRI on Friday

Radiation treatment on Wednesday the 22nd.

then Remission City.

having a good day

Interviewed the Radiation Oncologist today. One day soon I'll get in a fancy new MRI, fit a mask and then 30 minutes of high radiation on each of two mets. Each is very small, 2mm. Apparently it does not take many cancer cells to generate trouble.

Feeling strangely optimistic. Not just this episode, but in general.

Ordered a new cell phone. The unlocked version of the Galaxy S III 4G Android Phone. Hated to pay full price but now I don't have to sign a new contract (and lose my unlimited data plan) and can change carriers and use this pda.

Reading Kent State, What Happened and Why. James Mitchner, 1971.

almost finished The Baroque Cycle. 

Phish on the 26th!

And WTF?!? Rand Paul for VP??? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. 

How my day started

Walking Russell before dawn this morning I meet my Oncologist walking his dog. He lives across the street. Since yesterday I was wondering if my casual attitude towards this episode was in error. He thought that with the small number of tumors (good to have got it so fast) that treatment should be successful. What worried him (and now me) was that I cancer free after the lung cancer treatment and now that is not true and likely to return in the future. Yesterday I called that "chasing the cancer."

I next asked about my financial plan. I have been planning my investments to last about 10 years out (about 2 years ago). He thought maybe 5 would be a more reasonable plan. He added that if I run out of money I can come over and he'll lend me some.

We also discussed my odd ability to suppress the growth of the cancer cells. He said there were some for whom this held true. The doctors don't know why or by what mechanism this occurs. I guess like dark matter.

Real game changing conversation on the side of the road at 6:30am. 

Here we go again

The results from my latest scans are in. Cancer found in my brain again.  I'll start treatment on Monday. Looks like the radiation oncologist will be using stereotactic radiotherapy. This is pin point radiation, as opposed, to the whole brain radiation I had in 2008. High levels of radiation and fewer exposures. I'll know more about the treatment after interviewing the treating physician.

Hard to believe that the cancer in my brain waited 4 years to return. My oncologist told me today that when he first saw my case in 2008 that he thought I'd only live for 6 months. He also said that he had never seen a case where the patient's cancer had grown so slowly. Seems I have something unusual.

So, 2008 brain, 2011 lung, 2012 brain cancer. I asked my oncologist today, am I going to be chasing cancer the rest of my life? He replied yes.

I never really expected life to take these turns.

After selling the house and the airplane I organized my assets with the intent of living at least ten more years. Maybe that was optimistic. I think I need to blow about $20,000 on a trip to Europe.

another day of doctors

Feeling better than I was. Just left the hospital after spending the morning in the MRI and CT scans.  Thursday I'll get the results.

I just hate it when it seems I'm going backwards.

Katie is up to 12 lbs. Less biting.

No tobacco for 3 weeks. I miss it. Can't tell much difference.

damn I feel sick

Wow, unhappy. So bad that I went to see my family physician earlier in the week. Massive headache, pain in the site of the thoracic surgery, dizziness, heartburn, little hard to breathe, are a few of my symptoms. Dr. Cook thinks that my left lung has developed scar tissue which is rubbing against my rib cage. That pain is causing spasms up through my shoulder. I may even have a kidney stone.

I've moved up my next round of blood tests, MRI and CT scans to next week.

So, so sick of being sick.