First day free of cancer (again)

Today is my final radiation treatment for lung cancer. I shall declare February 28 as my first cancer-free day and new anniversary.

In June of 2008 I had a partial seizure and ended up in the hospital where they diagnosed brain cancer. There was one large tumor and several smaller ones. Three surgeries and 13 sessions of Whole Brain Radiation and the cancer was stopped. Almost four years now and no return. However, this summer, a cancerous tumor was found in my  left lung. Surgery, in August, removed the bulk of the tumor. Then 4 treatments of chemotherapy, taking over 3 months. Lastly, 25 radiation treatments, were administered. So, I've been fighting this incident of cancer for 7 months.

Every doctor I have seen is amazed. Imagine, beating cancer once, then twice. I've spent the last four years dealing with this disease. After the Whole Brain Radiation, I suffered both severe memory problems and extreme fatigue. Since the lung cancer, I have become weakened physically. I have never stopped fighting, never spiraled into futility or depression. It has been difficult, I cannot lie. This struggle has taken every bit of emotional energy I have to survive.

My plan is to get in the best physical shape possible. I'll be walking and at the gym 6 days a week, starting tomorrow. I know it will be a slow and likely painful process. In taking on this challenge I can only claim to have kept a good attitude and showing up for 4 surgeries, 38 radiation treatment and four rounds of chemotherapy. I have struggled with memory problems, fatigue, fear, and emotional problems. I worked hard to keep my head above water throughout this ordeal.

Last week, I started feeling like I was free of the cancer. Like a switch being flipped. Done. Over. Gone. Let the celebration begin!

Time to break out that bucket list and get busy.

Thanks for reading and for all the support I have received though this. Without family and friends I'm not sure I would have made it.

on a more personal note

Here at the end of 7 months of surgery, chemo and radiation, I am beginning to feel better. A lot better. I'm walking and getting things done. I'll be getting a CT scan next month, but I just know that the cancer is gone. I am finding it easier to think and remember. Maybe not how I used to, but better than the past three years, post Whole Brain Radiation. If you need WBR to survive (as I did) then do it. Realize though, that it can be quite debilitating, maybe permanently.

Next, getting into shape after months of inactivity. I'll be at the gym everyday.

Even thinking of hitting the "Open Mic" night in NoDa, soon.

My mother's brother and sister are coming to visit tomorrow. It has been too long.

logic

When I was an undergraduate, I took a course in logic and rhetoric as part of my degree. I was a Philosophy major at the time. As I think back over those four years, this was the most useful instruction I was to receive then. Since then,   I kept the text on Rhetoric and read it many times over years. Folks, especially politicians, use false syllogisms, faulty logic, and twist the meaning of words to appeal to the emotions of others.

Here is a recent example:   Newt Gingrich said "Morning After Abortion Pill." 

He subtly changes the pill that merely prevents the implantation of the fertilized egg, into a an "unborn" child. Suddenly, the Morning After Pill becomes a method of abortion. 

Even the notion of an "unborn" person is absurd.    

Logical fallacies are statements that appear to be logical, use the forms of logic, but improperly.

Here are two good sites covering many of the common types:  http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies/ 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies

Being an election year, there will be many opportunities to catch politicians using these fallacies to make their arguments. With only a little practice I have been able to spot the improper use to logic quickly. Simply making a statement does not make it true. These statements can be intentional or just the results of stupidity.

a simple syllogism:

Socrates is a man                                     p>q

All men are mortal                                  q>r

therefore, Socrates is mortal                p>r

or Woody Allen's version

Socrates is a man                                     p>q

All men are mortal                                  q>r

therefore, All men are Socrates           q>p

Other common fallacies are: Attacks against the man (he can't be right because he is gay), Appeal to Authority (being an authority does not make one opinion correct), and one of my favorites, the Slippery Slope (taking a fact to it's illogical conclusion, if we legalize marijuana, everyone will be using it).

One of my professors demonstrated that learning symbolic logic resulted in a rise in IQ. The only thing we can bring to the world is reason and truth and expose the false use of questionable facts. So sharpen your logical skills and see through the crazy-assed things that politicians assert.

I made it to the show

Went to see one of my favorite bands last night at the Fillmore. Umphreys McGee with my friends, The Mantras. First time I been to a live show in several months. It was like a homecoming. I saw so many old friends. The venue was nice enough to provide a chair for me. I would have not been able to stand for the four hours I was there.

 However, it'll take all weekend to get enough rest to replace the energy expended last night. But, so worth it. 

This morning CBS announced on the show 60 minutes Sunday the story was going to be about depression and the placebo effect. Seems a large study shows that placebos work as well as anti-depressants for mild to moderate depression. Studies showing this have been floating around for years, but now folks outside the medical community are showing interest in this phenomenon. I've been saying this for 25 years. I have always been interested in treatment efficacy studies.  Love it when I'm right.

When you think about it, learning to deal with depressed feelings gives you tools for getting through those times in the future. Taking a pill only teaches you to take pills. I'm pretty sure feeling badly at times is part of the human experience. In my experience, most depressed people have good reasons to be depressed, they live fucked up lives. I used to tell clients, you should be depressed, look at your life!

"Doctor, it hurts when I do this'" reply, "Stop doing it." Learning to change is the goal. 

Anyway, I'm in such a good mood and cannot wait until I can hit the couch for a few hours.

another week

Another week has gone by and I have failed to blog. Mostly because not much has happened around here. Well maybe I failed to do anything worthy of mention, lol. Still getting the radiation treatments and the side effects are beginning to appear. I know my number one job is to help the doctors rid my body of this cancer, and part of that job is to rest and heal. I feel a bit like Zarathustra (Thus Spake Zarathustra, F. Nietzsche) in his cave for 20 years. Hope I come out having learned something.


I have a ticket for the Umphreys McGee show tonight, with my friends, The Mantras, opening. Unfortunately the show is at the Fillmore in Charlotte and I just hate that venue. They won't let you sit or even lean against the railings.  Going to be kind of hard on me.


Reading "Quicksilver" part of the Baroque Cycle trilogy, by Neil Stephenson. The trilogy is about 3000 pages. Should keep me busy for a while.

i'm back

I have been remiss in updating this the past week. I have been getting radiation for the past two weeks and have three more weeks to go. No noticeable side effects have arisen. Getting some exercise and am feeling better. Picked up a friend at the airport last night. It was the furthest I have driven in 6 months.  Then I'll start the months of getting back into the best shape I can be.

I am beginning to feel like I may be just beat this disease. For 3 1/2 years this cancer has occupied my thoughts, activities, and finances. After the reclaiming of my physical health, I will need to find or discover what to do next with my life. I think I'll try to get my hypnotherapy practice going.

I have decided to quit Narcotics Anonymous. After 28 years I have found that it doesn't meet my needs. I'm sure I was helpful to many members and the organization as a whole. Somehow, that is no longer my path. I think I held on for way too long, should have resigned 10 years ago. I feel relief.

My life is now (mostly) free of obligations and I can move in any direction that I choose. I have been quite driven (MA, PhD, computer certs.(MCSE, CCNA), scuba, hiking, sailing, flying) going through life accomplishing what I needed and wanted to do. Now the slate is clean. I can be ready for whatever comes. Free to start the next chapter in my life. A chapter I seriously doubted I would get to experience. Maybe I will. I can be in that 15% that survive this horrible disease.

I'm famous

http://www.honesttune.com/chris-hight/

ok i think the coffee is ready.